#im also pretty busy irl so the most i have time to write is stupid little drabbles lolol but I'm really glad you enjoy them regardless!!

[aclosetfan]

Honestly your perspective on the blues being really toxic for each other really interests me as it's a perspective I don't really see shared all that often. I think it's an interesting interpretation of their relationship with one another even though it's not how I'd portray it myself, but it is a bit of release in waves upon waves of sickeningly sweet and high energy interpretations of the blues.

Honestly, I've always interpreted their relationship as a lot more mellow and melancholy, but maybe that's because how I headcanon the blues personally as they'd get older. Given their life factors, their roles as mediators, and how their siblings would often treat them (particularly in the case of Boomer), I always thought that they'd develop depression and mellow out a bit. Boomer being like, very obviously and disconcertingly depressed (which is something Brick and Butch would come to feel guilty about looking back on how they treated him growing up), while Bubbles ended up as a more "functional" masking depressed person who could still pretend to be peppy. I don't think their relationship would be high energy cutesy or heavily clashing particularly. Just, melancholy, mellow and sad but intimate too. They'd get a lot of solace with one another but not in the way the fandom usually thinks they'd get solace.

I know I'm def in the smallest of minorities here and I have a pretty depressing outlook on the blues as characters. I think its nice to see interpretations of the reds, blues, and greens that aren't just photocopies of popular fanon (which often just entails poor copies of their characterizations in MtH without understanding why said characterizations actually work). And I think that you do a really good job with that in regards to your work, I think your takes on characterization are really good too (your recent ask about Buttercup was spot on and nailed a lot of issues I have with fanfiction in regards to the characterization of the greens).

They're really well thought out in your work even though I don't always agree with your characterization, but I guess that's more so just a consequence of the ruffs being pretty flexible in regards to characterization inherently so a lot of different interpretations can come from the same characters. I think this happens with the puffs too especially with aged up AUs trying to figure out what direction their lives and personalities would take, but it's not as varied I don't think.

Apologies for rambling in your inbox. Your writing is good and your interpretation of the puffs and ruffs as characters is refreshing.

Don’t apologize and thank you!! I think everything you said about the blues is honestly a completely fair criticism (even tho I know you didn’t actually write a criticism 😂) of my characterization of the group!! I use humor and deflection irl to undermine the personal stuff I’ve been through and really admire people who, despite it all, remain positive and don’t fall into the same depression/anxiety trap that I fall into. So, I don’t let this group stay sad for very long. There’s always a “happy” ending. I also believe that it’s more in line with the universe of the canon show.

Actually, one of my fics, acting normal, which is forever on my mind but never on paper, explores the sadder side of being a hero and destroys the blues romantic relationship entirely but leaves them as maybe friends for the first time. And there's this idea I have about Bubbles relationship with art that's on the sadder side. Truly, I do enjoy sad stories with mellow, often dependent relationships, but because I know who I am, they can get hard for me to write. I’m one of those people who gets into the headspace of what I’m reading and writing, and it affects my mood lol!

That being said, the blues are perfect characters to utilize in those melancholy stories, especially Bubbles, but that's because we know more about Bubbles than we do Boomer. She's a "happy" character, she's cute and bubbly, and a joy to be around. But sometimes people who smile the brightest are the saddest. Her character having mental health issues is a great way to explore depression and anxiety in all its forms, especially the type that presents in "people pleasers."

But writing those types of stories can be really taxing, so watch out! Take breaks! Be kind to yourself!

At the end of the day, no matter how someone characterizes one of these characters, if they're passionate about it it's going to be a good fic!

[vrmxlho]

bruh i posted my fucking hcs while i was in middle of writing them 😕 anyway here it is copied and pasted:

omg aiku is so fucking ajfsdkhjbf every time i see him i go feral,,,, ALSO YES MORE PEOPLE NEED TO READ GOKURAKUGAI THE ART IS BEAUTIFUL +++ i'm pretty sure this is gonna be ooc because i'm really just making shit up so i apologise in advance lmaoo +++ also im sorry its so short i have no idea what to write 😭

cw: swearing + not proofread because who wants to relive this nightmare??? + probably really ooc but this is my blog so i will do as i please honestly 😒 + suggestive but nothing sexual

LEONARDO LUNA レオナルド・ルナ

his love language is either physical touch or giving gifts

he absolutely adores holding you and he always physically on you, either an arm over your shoulder or a hand on your knee, sometimes he even makes you put your legs on his simply because he likes it that way

but at the same time he is 100% the most infuriating person alive and he prides himself in being annoying

at least he's funny ig

he's constantly teasing you, flirting with you excessively

if he hadn't already told everyone in his life that you were his s/o people would've still been able to guess as much

he's like an annoying puppy who always follows you around asking you to play

he's also incredibly petty, like if you ignore him by mistake or leave him on read because the conversation had ended he's purposefully going to do the same to you

even if the subject of the conversation is actually quite important

nothing can get in the way of his pettiness

"leo, can you please fucking answer me???" he only looked at you briefly before continuing with his stupid hair. it had only been like this for about five minutes but you honestly felt like it had been a century. he was being so fucking annoying. "leonardo luna i swear to god, if you don't fucking answer me this instant i'm going to bash your head in." "i'd still be really attractive though, so i don't really-" "will you please stay on topic for once in your life?" "annoying isn't it?" "THE CONVERSATION HAD ENDED YOU SAID 'OK' AND THAT WAS THE END WHAT ELSE WAS THERE TO ADD????" "you can always add an 'i love you'." "boy. be fucking for real."

forgot to mention that he's also rlly vain

by that i mean he pretends to be vain

he pretend to care about his looks more than he actually does because he thinks its funny

it is sometimes

i am a firm believer that he was one of those kids that was fascinated by the ocean and just any type of water body

he wanted to pursue geography and maybe be a marine biologist before he became a football pro

that's why is his ideal date is renting a boat and going to sea caves to scuba dive in

he insisted on the two of you taking scuba diving lessons together because he wanted to swim with sharks and sea turtles

i feel like he was a summer baby, specifically a leo

because my irl best friend is a leo leonardo

he's also the type to collect shells and make shell necklaces for you

once tried convincing you to change your name to sally and start a seashell business because he thought it would be really funny???

concerning

he's naturally funny but at times he says the dumbest things unironically

his favourite way to destress is to have long bubble baths with you while you both chatter about your day

not necessarily in a sexual way

he just enjoys being physically close to you while also being surrounded by water

leonardo luna was exhausted. you could tell as soon as he entered the house. his usually bright and blindingly positive aura had dulled. his eyes looked distant and he walked with a sway. fatigue made his limbs heavy and he hummed softly before he collapsed on the sofa. "are you okay? leo?" he had already begun snoring slightly when you finally reached him. you chuckled a bit. you wouldn't mind leaving him like this. he looked so cute. his silky hair falling gently on his nose and his cheeks a bit red from the slight chill in the air. but he smelled. reeked of sweat. he must've been too tired to even shower after practice. you weren't about to let him sleep in his sweat, it was simply gross. so first, you tried pulling him off. but not only was he a massive man who weighed a lot more than the usual groceries you carried. he was also resisting making it even harder for you make him budge. so you kissed his forehead, hoping it would wake him up. nothing. this time you pinched him. which worked, because now he was stirring. he opened his eyes which burned with anger and frowned at you. "come have a shower with me." suddenly his eyes were wide and bright again. he basically jumped off the sofa and carried you to the bathroom. he was tired but he didn't mind the extra exhaustion that would come from carrying another human being, since it was you. as soon as you got to the bathroom he basically ripped your clothes off and you were in the shower giving him a massage. then washing his hair and running your hand over his back soothingly. he didn't look tired anymore, it seemed like your presence had woken him up. or perhaps he just didn't want to miss out on your touch. "how was practise?" "couldn't stop thinking about you."

his kisses are always hot and passionate

loves holding your face when he kisses you

as if its the last time he will

he loves how his hands are big enough to hold your entire cheek

your first kiss wasn't awkward at all except for the fact that it was in front of the paparazzi because he loves PDA

unless you genuinely hate it he's always holding your hand in front of the cameras, kissing you, full on making out and everything

is a failure in the kitchen but is surprisingly good at following instructions

you'll never have to cut an onion when he's around!!

real men cry 👍

OLIVER AIKU 愛空

you've made it

you are now dating the hottest man on earth, the biggest playboy in the world has settled down

cuz you're just as hot

but that's exactly what makes him so possessive and jealous

it's not that he doesn't trust you he's just a little insecure, why else do you think he always broke up with his previous flings?

he's scared that if you got to see him for who he really was (as if you haven't already ☠️)

however, whenever he sees you talking to someone he doesn't particularly like he'll come up beside you and pull you close to him by the waist

and if you look uncomfortable he'll literally take you to another setting so you feel better

his love language is words of affirmation!!

he loves hearing how much you love him and how much you wanna spend time with him and how you'd kill for him

but at the same time he absolutely loves teasing you and making you get all flustered

oliver had been feeling down. he didn't really know why. it was 3am and he had this deep pit of despair in his stomach. you looked so peaceful on the bed, sleeping softly and scrunching the blanket up a bit. "how can someone so perfect want to be with me?" "if you're going to be so depressing i might actually break up with you..." you had turned around to stare at him with your tired barely open eyes. you weren't a light sleeper per se but your deep connection to aiku meant that you could feel something was off even if you couldn't see if with your own eyes. "sorry, did i wake you?" he moved back into bed. pulling the sheets over you a bit. "you know i love you right? and i wouldn't even dream about leaving your or whatever you were worrying about." "but-" "no, shut the fuck up. it's late," you pulled his arms around your body and placed yourself right onto his chest, " and i'm cold, so do your job. warm up the bed."

bought you an emerald promise ring after the first date because he instantly fell in love with you and he's suddenly discovered that he was actually a big romantic

(emerald to represent his left eye, left being the side the body your heart is in)

as a playboy, the first date was all a ploy to impress you but also give the impression that he wasn't available so breaking things off or ghosting you wouldn't be a hassle

he took you to a fancy restaurant

for once he wasn't two timing you

anyway after all this he took you to the beach to go on a walk where he asked you if you wanted to go skinny dipping

it was his first challenge, if yes, it would be fun, if no, then he had a reason to break things off with you

but the look of indifference you gave him made him crave more

he could already feel his cheeks heating up and from that day onwards he couldn't stop thinking about you like at all

after you got into an actual relationship you both avoid going back to that restaurant because of just how dull that night was

now your dates consist of going to the arcade, doing some karaoke and then maybe watching a movie while living off of buttery popcorn

he honestly has such a beautiful singing voice

would definitely be an idol if he weren't a footballer

he's a huge ABBA fan i can feel it in my soul

his ideal date is having a picnic by the beach and then playing beach volley until you both decide it's too hot and go for a swim

honestly any summer activity would be his ideal date

oliver aiku was probably breaking countless laws right now. it was the end of summer, the nights were short but warm with the skies clear, starry and gorgeous. aiku wanted to celebrate by firing his homemade fireworks he had spent about 2 months making. and you were certain that this was illegal. but he didn't care. "oli- i don't think this is safe..." "don't worry about it, i'm here to protect you." you could almost hear the smirk he was wearing. "you're no lawyer, i won't be breaking the law with you." "oh you're no fun." he looked at you with fake disappointment. frankly, if you weren't in a good mood you would've just left him to his frolicsomeness but you were also sort of intrigued. you really wanted to see what two months of firework building could get you. "make sure we don't get caught." "i'm no amateur love."

likes pulling your hair when kissing

and he's not one to give one quick kiss and run, they need to be deep every single time

pecks on the lips are meaningless in his eyes

he's also one to engage in PDA

he absolutely loves kissing in front of people he dislikes

to sort of one-up them

kisses you all the fucking time for absolutely no reason

you'd think the novelty would have worn off after being kissed so much but it really doesn't

somehow he keeps getting better at kissing

is he practicing behind your back????? (no, i'm jking)

[royaltrios]

here's some notes on my recent chsc: what you're missing

-since i published as needed as last year's snow in january, i've been busy trying to graduate and not had any time to read or write or even really think about genshin. then i visited our chsc server friends for a few days beginning of june and i came back and haven't stopped writing since

-on the drive up me and taho spent most of the two hours yapping about chsc, and it was lovely but also extremely extremely strange for me to hear someone praise my writing irl. im genuinely just stumbling through word documents like a bow-legged fawn so

-starting back up with writing this summer i started working things out on physical paper in a notebook. its actually been really fun/feels different than notes app/sticky note-ing it. i still did use sticky notes for puzzling out intricacies of the smut tho (and then proceeded to pretty much use none of it) i'll attach a pic of my notes here for fun even though its slightly horrifying to do

-like most of my fics ive had this one waiting in the wings for a while, basic premise though was just 'chsc first time happens after scara backhands childe in front of people and childe gets very horny about that'. wrote it over about two weeks, fight scene fucked me up until i just locked in and wrote all of it at once at 2am. spent a while rearranging the smut then sent it to pachi to beta, forced myself not to look at it during those days, got it back and made isolated edits and was too embarrassed to read the smut i wrote 2 weeks ago again so i just posted it. hope its ok

-i always always always have trouble with scara during harbinger era. its because im a chronic overexplainer/overjustifier for characters getting together. for his actions during that time i lean on the little tiny bit we ever saw of it and that's mostly abrasiveness... but you gotta pull on how wanderer acts/ his backstory a bit too to like really see where hes coming from at that point in the story. halfway thru writing i realized he wouldnt act the way i was imagining him acting, had to fix that, then had to tweak the rest of the fic

-basically; i think childe would accept that he has a thing for scaramouche without too much thought. he's into mean people who're older than him + match his freak. he goes towards what makes him feel good. scara on the other hand i think... he immediately justifies the pull he feels as 'childe's stupid enough that i can use him'/'he worships me without being told'. this is a guilty pleasure for both of them until they realize its not (which is what i hoped to set up by beginning it with their abyss connections-- they're alike from the very beginning and they're both being used in different ways) <- i talked to pachi some in the middle of writing and it helped me puzzle out what chsc would be feelin a bit more. ty dr pachi phd in childe characterization

-had to have like multiple tabs open of bible's rgg pwp fics as emotional support. i filtered fics tagged 'cunniligus' in my bookmarks more than once. i was floundering. 90% of what i write or consider writing is E rated but i don't actually get much fulfillment out of describing smut. however i kind of tried really hard here bc i know thats what 99% of people are reading this for and even though i hate when i have to write the words scaramouche and clit directly next to each other i ended up pretty proud of the smut here.

random favorite bit:

“Well, it—” Childe's hips buck up into Scaramouche's fist. With a strained expression across his face and in a tone that sounds a little too genuine, he says, “feels kinda... different, since it's you." It's as bold-faced and earnest as anything else he's heard Childe say. But it's a sort of confirmation that Scaramouche was hoping to avoid—whilst simultaneously enjoying dancing around it. Stupid to give him this much leeway, this much permission, and not expect the guy who does everything else with the ruthlessness and loyalty of a hunting dog not to extend that to this.

i liked this bc i felt like i managed to nail down scara realizing he might've bit off more than he can chew without disrupting the smut. and childe + dog metaphor + shaky earnest confessions + L + ratio

-my penchant for having characters write letters in fic returns (almost as bad as my thing with inserting flashbacks in the middle of stuff) (i like first person but i dont like it in fic so this is the only way i can do it)

-looped teenage dirtbag (title + captured how i was trying to play childe here) (friend told me recently the singer of wheatus went to hs around where we grew up?), against the kitchen floor by will wood (taho's doing), some high energy 2000s stuff while revising the fight scene, my age gap oriented pl + will stetsons rabbit hole cover during the smut

i'll leave whoever reads this with a teenage dirtbag induced write-up i did to try and work out why i ended up liking the title i chose so much:

what you're missing-- what you're letting pass you by. what you don't have by not looking at me, what you'll want back in the future. what you don't have by not having me. what you've been trying to find, to grasp. what you didn't know you were missing.

[loverboy-cc]

Pardon my rambling. Illness of the mental flavour this fine four in the morning.

On one hand I want to post shit as soon as I’m done drawing but I also like keeping a queue bc then my account doesn’t die for 7-14 business days when my wrists act up not from an obligation to post just bc I like seeing people interact with my art and i know I could take a break and keeping a queue makes it so I can but also I love consistency and I just because I should take breaks doesn’t mean I like doing it and I think I may spend too much time on the internet but I’m not entirely sure what else to do with myself because what else is there to do for me as someone who can’t really go out or do most normal things. I suppose I could read but I already do a lot of that not even just fanfic I read a decent amount of novels im just horribly picky and I find the process of finding novels I enjoy exausting. I could write more music too but I already do that a lot and it’s debatable if that’s better because I end up obsessing over even minor flaws. I want to redecorate my room but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or if I’m just tired bc I’m pretty sure I forgot to take my meds last night even though I slept what felt like a normal amount. I should also go to bed now bc I did take my meds and I know that’s definitely making my current situation worse but on the other hand I want to run. Which I know is a bad idea last time i tried to go for a run my legs gave out and I was stuck in the cold for 4 hours until my roommate woke up and could bring my wheelchair and I’m not sure when my knees got this bad. Like I could never run because I was asthmatic but it was a different kind of couldn’t like I could technically run it was just a bad idea because I’d have an asthma attack. But now I can’t because I’ll fall and won’t be able to get back up or I’ll be in such severe pain I can’t get home or one time I got lost and just kinda kept walking for almost 2 hours bc I forgot my phone so I couldn’t contact anyone and I shit you not I ended up in the neighbor town (it’s not that far and I didn’t remember crossing the highway either way) and after that I barely got out of bed for like a week. Not that I get out of bed often as it anyway and I think that’s why it feels like I spend too much time online. Because I only really remember being online because it’s the best part of my day. Like I know I have one irl I could be hanging out with but also that is so much effort and I love her dearly but it’s a different kind of yearning I think. I want to be normal just for like a day I want to have friends who want to talk to me and people to spend time with irl. But I also don’t. I don’t want people I don’t want friends and I know that. I want the romanticized version of friends that don’t have drama or problems or complexity and I think that’s why I value my online friends and my mutuals so much because it fills the social need without any of the issues that come with humans and I feel horrible saying that because I know my mutuals are human but online is comfortable and the block button is always a click away and I’m not afraid to use it but also I am because what if I’ve misjudged the situation not that I’ll ever ask.

Edit I’m expanding this because my brain has gone in a very irl dangerous direction and I need to keep my hands busy lest I do something fucking stupid. Sometimes I wonder how much my apathy shows and sometimes I wonder if it’s even apathy because I am apathetic in a clinical sense but I wonder if I’m exaggerating because I get bursts of excitement or feeling but it comes and goes in minutes like. Even then direction I was going isn’t out of and particular negative emotion it was a passive thought and I think that’s arguably more worrying bc instead of being jarring and worrying I considered making a catastrophically bad decision with all the care of someone picking want to have for breakfast. Maybe I’d feel better if I jerked off I don’t think that’s is a great idea but also there’s certainly worse options I’m wondering if this reads as much like a conversation as it feels because I don’t remember writing most of it but also reading it does sound like me but not and I don’t know why that is but I don’t want to think to hard on it so.

[shibalen]

1/2! Hi! could I have a male romantic hq matchup if thats ok? w a dark box + a jewellery box pls! I'm 5'5, she/her w long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin! I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally v flirty + my love language is physical touch! I LOVE working out + I'm a HUGE foodie. I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + PDA. I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I ramble but I'm a gd listener + v playful!

2/2 im v playful + luv teasing! I'm spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious but I tend to overwork myself. I'm empathetic + love comforting others, it takes a lot to make me super angry too! I'm pretty straight forward - I try my best to be upfront about my feelings! I LOVE autumn/winter, cooking, BOBA + outdoors (but also love cosy nights at home) I really value honesty + loyalty. my ideal type is someone tall, protective + doesn't mind physical touch! (I also luv late night adventures)

Sorry I ran out of characters but I just wanted to say thank you so much in advance! I literally had notifications on so I didn't miss your matchups being open lmao <3 a nickname incase u need it is Ains btw!

♡︎ matchup for @hvnlydmn

hello, dear! aww, i'm so happy you think my matchups are something worth not missing. thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoy this!

haikyuu: i match you with . . .

osamu miya !!

• under that calm exterior Osamu is competitive and has a small wild streak in him. you would do good in bringing out that side of him more often with your extroverted nature !!

• he finds your boldness and passion endearing and will help you keep your feet grounded in cases your impulsive tendancies might cause trouble for you.

• while your external demeanours differ, you hold the same core values which is incredibly important. like you, Osamu prefers being honest and will understand your point of view even though he might have a different opinion.

• that being said, you're both extremely patient and heated arguments take place only once in a blue moon. even then you manage to work out your differences quite fast.

• maybe it's because of your profile pic but i get the feeling you were a fan of Atsumu first, being part of the cheering squad in high school.

• you had no problem approaching either of the twins despite their popularity. they liked your confidence and energy so quickly accepted you.

• at first you wanted Osamu to help you get closer to Atsumu, but oops, along the way you two ended up falling for the other instead ! your personalities complimented each other, plus you had lots of common interests !

• i love how your first impression dynamic is the fun ray of sunshine x the quiet chill one even though y'all can be equally chaotic and observant ♡︎

• Osamu puts action over words and likes showing you his affection through small, casual touches as you go about your day. locking your fingers, putting his arm around your waist or shoulders, caresses of your cheek/head/hands.

• also, giving you massages after a tough day !! it's sweet and intimate while you can talk about anything and everything, or say nothing at all ♡( ◡‿◡ )

• insists being the one to brew you coffee. he knows his coffee is the best and it's what you deserve.

• playful teasing 23/7 (including snack breaks) just saying. having a brother like Atsumu has had its effects.

• Atsumu and you sometimes gang up and lovingly bully him. don't worry though, even against the two of you Samu can stand his ground (or be petty and give you a cold shoulder to tease you even more).

• though if someone else starts crossing the line while they're teasing you, Osamu will lowkey throw hands. he won't make a scene but anyone with the guts to brother you should be prepared to face pain the consequences.

• your dates often consist of visiting new restaurants/food booths, home-cooked dinner dates or picnics + hiking. sometimes he'll join working out with you.

❦︎ darkbox, timeskip

• it started with the little things: missed calls, skipped dinners, forgotten good-mornings. with Osamu busy with the restaurant and you having your hands full with your own job, your schedules only seemed to drift further apart.

• but then the words you exchanged irl became less frequent and finally the physical touch between you faded nearly into nonexistence because you hardly even saw each other.

• it was like a ticking time bomb. Osamu and you were aware of it but neither of you knew how to stop it.

• though you talked through messages and calls it just wasn't the same. stressed and worried, you did your best to remain calm, however this only made things worse.

• to you, it felt as though Osamu didn't care about your relationship anymore since he always looked and sounded the same, ever so nonchalant. yet in truth he was trying his hardest to look composed so you wouldn't worry.

• in the end, you both saw it best to take a 'break' until your careers became stable again. the saddest part: you did it for the other though neither of you wanted to.

• to forget your depression you became more involved in your work than before, up to the point of overworking yourself.

• meanwhile, Osamu, too, drowned himself in exhaustion. no matter how stoic he appeared it was clear he was all but focused. he kept wondering if you were okay, eating properly, getting enough sleep, or even if you wanted to start seeing someone else.

• worries if you'd rather have broken up with him for good because he wasn't good enough.

• thank goodness Atsumu, being the better and smarter twin™, called his brother out on his bs. too bad Osamu was a stubborn bastard and took forever to realise he loved you too much to be taking some 'pause' from you.

• his blood ran cold and his heart dropped to his stomach, however, when you weren't answering any calls or texts for days. you always answered him after a day at most.

• gosh, he was so anxious something had happened to you that he cancelled everything to rush to your place.

• it turned out you were taking a a week off from the world after too much work and getting sick. all well and good but the boy almost stumbled to his knees from the relief.

• instead, being himself, he just went: "stupid. ya really have a talent for getting yourself into situations like these."

• but thankfully you knew what he meant and how to comfort him. obviously you both fessed up that despite the problems you didn't want to be apart from each other again.

• from that incident onwards you agreed to always openly talk about your feelings. even if it meant being a little selfish, you knew the other would always be there for you ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

after a loss at an important game, you were the one to cheer him up. it was mid-autumn so the nature was filled with colours. you invited him out to rake leaves and jump into the heaps. Osamu thought it was ridiculous at first but couldn't help but smile at your sweet attempts to help him. you weren't together yet back then but it was definitely the moment he realised he felt something stronger for you than friendship ♡︎

— favourite activity to do together:

cooking and taste-testing! it's just so domestic. he gets to cook and spend quality time with you—what could be better? also, image standing in front of a stove, just cooking, when he comes up to you from behind, quietly wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your neck.

— favourite place to kiss you:

your forehead and neck. he jokes you're too short for him to reach your lips when he actually just loves the intimacy of it, same with your neck.

— favourite nicknames to call you by:

short-stack, plum, Ains. just your own nickname or something silly/teasing. he doesn't think having a nickname is that important.

— favourite thing about you:

how empathetic and understanding you are. many have gotten the wrong impression of him of being aloof before, so he loves you for caring to look further than meets the eye. not only with him but everyone else as well.

runner up: Kotarō Bokuto

this is my first time writing the extra additions so feedback is warmly welcome. remember to take care ♡︎

[eastendies]

Im sorry to say it but given the (very interesting) information you provided in your last ask about BSL i dont think they make Ben deaf permanently. Not if they want to do it justice. It'd work in a tv show or a movie but not in a soap. Even if he has the implant, he cant wear it all the time & It'd limit future sl's alot because everyone around him would have to know at least a bit of BSL, which realisticly takes YEARS to learn. And they have to have material for him for many years to come

Oh wow I guess you're right, us Deaf/HOH folk were just being so STUPID before, with all of our excitement for representation and expecting more than the bare minimum, thank you for enlightening me on this wonderful founding, guess I was just being silly /s

I know I try to be nice to all my anons but this came off as just the most patronizing ask I've seen in a while. The fact that you took a look at my post abt writing realistic Deaf characters, a list that was EXTREMELY basic by the way, and immediately concluded, "This is too hard, no soap would ever have deaf representation" is just awful and I think i have the right to be a little passive aggressive about that.

Max Bowden...can wear a cochlear implant? All the time? I don't know why people are so completely baffled by this idea, but Bowden is an ACTOR who ACTS a deaf character. A cochlear implant would just be a prop, and there's no reason for him to not wear it for the rest of his time on ee?

Being Deaf wouldn't limit his storylines at all, especially if he has a cochlear implant. Just because Ben is Deaf does NOT mean he's suddenly a side character?? People like Ben and the ee writers will always have storylines for him, except now those storylines are slightly different because of the fact that he's Deaf/has a cochlear implant and people have to take that into account. Deaf people aren't just immovable dolls irl, surprisingly they have lives and are involved with other people and, yes, have drama. Once Ben has his cochlear implant and adjusts to it, he can still be super involved in the Deaf community and also involved with his family and business because that's how people operate? Even if he didn't have a cochlear implant, Ben is NOT an unusable character and the fact that he needs to be accommodated sometimes does not make him someone EE is just bored with and will chuck aside. The fact that you think that Ben being Deaf is suddenly not a person anymore if they don't magically "fix" his Deafness is pretty terrible and I'm done lambasting you about it.

Everyone on the show doesn't have to be fluent in BSL. In reality, they just have to know to accommodate him and recognize he has difficulty receiving auditory information. Mick doesn't need to know BSL, he just need to face Ben and speak clearly when he talks. The people in his immediate family I DO expect for them to learn BSL, but not fluently. Learning bits and phrases of BSL, especially when you're LIVING with someone who is Deaf and using it as much as possible, does not take years and they would probably be sufficient in about as little as a few months. I don't want them to go on TV and interpret for the Queen, I want them to be able to sign "pass the milk" without Ben having to wonder what they're saying. For actors on EE, this would literally be them doing their JOB. Especially after getting a cochlear implant, people will be able to communicate with Ben in English even more than before, they just need to keep in mind to not rush their information and listen to him when he says to repeat a phrase or slow down their speaking. Callum interpreting for Ben would be amazing and pretty interesting to see (considering Ben has a lot of issues accepting help), but I'm not expecting Tony Clay to become fluent for his role, but modestly decent, since that what his job is PAYING him to do.

Having representation is important. Seeing a Deaf storyline on my favorite show is incredible and I'm enjoying it so far. The idea that a soap opera just can't deal with the STRESS and BURDEN of having a Deaf character, ever, and can't deal with the basic acknowledgments of accommodation they need to make that character realistic, is laughable. These are professional writers and show runners, and they're pretty terrible sometimes, but they are competent enough to know having a Deaf character on screen is not something that limits storylines and their drama quota for the week, but rather expands it and the possibility for new storylines that are rarely seen in shows period, which can gain them new viewers from how popular having a Deaf character is to people who WANT to see themselves on the big screen. Soap operas aren't magical shows where disabled people can't exist, but a form of media where the audience expects a ton of drama at all times, and so disabled characters, like all characters, will be having drama all the time. Maybe in their own unique ways that takes advantage of their experiences to show it on screen, maybe to gossip about people cheating or difficulties in their relationship.

Eastenders can have a Deaf character. The characters can accommodate a Deaf character. I love seeing my and many others representation on screen, so don't tell me expecting the bare minimum from the show is fucking unrealistic.

[kinkymagnus]

Twi YouTube AU?? 👀

dlgjk ok i dont have a coherent au idea i just like the idea of like. 

alec being this confident youtuber man who does all sorts of shit, like funny vlogs and maybe some sketches with his siblings or some lets plays or something, idk, he’s just a popular youtuber like, idk, fuckin markiplier or something, you know, kinda does a lot of stuff. maybe some fashion/interior design shit? idk? but like. he’s pretty popular and if there’s any list on tumblr that’s like “some queer creators you should try watching” he’s always up there because he’s pretty open about being gay. maybe at first he wasn’t in the earlier youtube days but he had a pretty emotional coming out video and everyone was like “holy shit” 

meanwhile magnus is like, a quietly popular youtuber, you know? kind of a niche audience, but with decent numbers. he does a lot of things, like vlogs about being trans. like, oh my god. magnus documenting his transition? would that even be a thing? wait oh my god is this mundane au, or is this canon? because twi magnus who’s actually a warlock with a youtube channel would be hilarious but maybe not a good idea. you know what? how about a mix. he’s mortal and was born in modern times and all, he’s like the same age as alec–idk why but i’m thinking he’s like a few weeks older or a month or two older than alec and alec jokingly teases him about being old–but he like…. still has magic, because why the fuck not. actually, you know what? fuck it? it’s an au where magic is just openly a thing. not even necessarily canonverse magic, just. some people have magic. magnus does little tutorials and shit, he has a real talent for it and he’s actually really powerful but he hides that. (possible plotline: some paparazzi discover he’s like, a level ten mage, and it’s a scale from 1-10 and 8 is the most powerful u get most of the time, there’s been a few really famous 9s and there’s been one 10 ever and that was fucking merlin. you feel. because why not. idek fuck.) anyway he has little diy make your own magical charms and weaving enchantment and safe summoning circles and tips for writing magical contracts and shit like that. he’s this cute little nerd but he’s like incredibly knowledgeable and he knows how to teach it in a way that’s understandable and accessible? and he answers questions in really clear ways, and he does amazing demonstrations that look so cool people accuse him of editing but he’s just That Good. and he’s like, actually a really well-published wizard/magic scientist, he invented the fucking portal, but probably under a pseudonym because he doesn’t really want the attention. (his last name is fell in honor of his mentor. yes. although if he does multiple ones he may or may not also use loss, santiago, rollins, etc.) anyway he’s just so fucking good, he has all these videos explaining magical theory in pretty easy to understand ways (maybe going from really simple to like “i understand the basics here and am ready for the technical terms but need an overview” videos you know. 

also he doesn’t just do magic videos, because i said so. also maybe some blogs, and like. because i want to. some fashion/makeup tips. and it’s weirdly endearing because it’s not something you’d expect since he doesn’t wear makeup that often–although a) there are def gifsets of his full makeup looks on tumblr, and b) when he does occasionally decide to wear lipstick or eyeshadow or whatever, most of his fans are like omg yes!! u look cute! also headcanon: twi magnus wears less makeup in general but he still indulges in nail polish. mostly dark/muted colors on his fingers, but bright silly colors on his toes. NAYWAYWYA

also magnus bane is his chosen name because he wanted something cool and wizardy sounding and undeniably masculine. 

also he’s so fucking sweet like look his videos are pretty popular because they’re just handy but he’s not exactly like, a super popular celebrity or anything, you know? but when he does meet fans he’s so incredibly sweet and he does selfies and he’s very appreciative of his followers? he’s so genuine? 

and alec is way more popular–not that he’s not kind and appreciative of his followers. it’s just the thing is, magnus and alec are totally opposite sides of youtube. alec is friendly charismatic completely non-magical youtuber, he plays video games with his sister and like, does vlogs and reaction videos and shit you know. magnus is out here with educational tutorials and excited rambles about magical theory. (i feel like sometimes he accidentally starts doing groundbreaking research for a video and forgets to like, publish it first, and people are like wait what the fuck holy shit) 

but then they fucking meet. 

and a) they’re Instantly smitten. b) this will eventually result in the weirdest collab ever. 

like NO ONE would expect magnus bane, tarot reader and tutorial on magic diy and shit, occasionally does makeup videos and little vlogs and talks about Issues sometimes, to collab with typical hot vlogger gamer man alec lightwood. but it happens, and somehow it’s the best fucking thing ever.

i’m not sure how their channels collide. maybe alec plays a game involving magic and magnus talks about all the ways it’s right/wrong but it ends up just being bantering and giggling and magnus may or may not end up leaning into him on the couch their sitting on and giggling as he makes a stupid joke with the character in the game and immediately everyone’s like…… we ship it

not that i support irl shipping but u know how it goes, everyones like “damn they’re cute” and they’re both openly queer so there’s that. i mean, still not cool, but you know

but really tho they keep doing collabs after that and become actual friends and both start kind of….. doing things for each other’s channel? magnus does a thing like “interview with someone who knows nothing about magic” and we just see a total mundane take on magic and honestly it’s really interesting for both of them, we have more “magnus, who’s an Old Soul and despite having a youtube channel is actually not that great with technology, raphael does all the editing, tries to play video games and kinda fails at it but he gets the hang of some of them”?? he likes puzzle games and mariokart, he does NOT like super smash bros because “THE CHARACTER NEVER DOES WHAT I WANT IT TO ALEXANDER” “you’re just jealous bc i beat ur ass” “you wanna play mariokart again, lightwood?!” 

magnus does a tarot reading for alec, alec does a vlog with him just like “day in the life of alec lol :P” and there’s moments where he just comes up behind magnus like “hey what’s up” and magnus, who’s in rumpled home clothing, sees the camera and chuckles and kinda half heartedly waves it away, and the audience loses their mind at how cute he looks lkdhjgfh

they just become actual good friends, you know? it’s weird bc you wouldn’t think it would work but it really, really does

also on of alec’s fans at some point tries to make a transphobic crack at magnus during a livestream and alec goes OFF on his ass and it’s trending for the next week, the clip goes viral, it’s like “HIMBO GOES OFF ON HATERS FOR BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO HIS FRIEND/POSSIBLE LOVER?” and alec apologizes to magnus for all the attention it brought them but magnus is like “it’s okay, we can use this” and they end up using the hype to do one of those charity livestreams youtubers do and all the proceeds go to something like mermaids or the trevor project, you feel? they’re like “suck it transphobes look at all this money you got trans ppl” khjfgh

ok but eventually they do get together, not on camera, and while it’s slow at first and kind of secret (from the internet, not from friends and family) they’re also not super subtle. they know they’re not, but they’re just sort of like “it’s no one’s business, we’ll announce it when we’re ready”

and honestly tho they love each other so much

also i’ve just decided it’s not uncommon for strong magic-users, even like, level 4 or 5 and up, to have marks, so while his cat eyes are usually glamoured maybe he showed them after a q&a or in a vlog or something? and there are like. lots of gifsets of this, okay, and like, lots of thirst comments. which are like, this weird mix of slightly uncomfortable, really flattering/validating, and embarrassing (in a good and bad way). anyway, magnus has cat eyes in this au, because i fucking said so.

ANYWAY back to their relationship, they’re in love

how did they meet? maybe at a con they bumped into each other, or a totally random fan was like “y’all should do a collab” and everyone was like “what”

or maybe a mutual friend and fellow youtuber, meliorn, who is a nonbinary youtuber who fucking has a sword don’t question me, introduces them? 

idk. but when they meet they hit it off instantly and flirt and end up getting coffee and they don’t date for a while (maybe mutual pining/misunderstandings like “oh he doesn’t like me like that, but it’s okay, we can still be friends :)” or something lkfgjhfgh) but eventually they end up getting together

how? no idea. let me think about it.

idk why but im thinking they’re filming at magnus’s apartment and they’re on his couch and just. late night. they’ve finished up filming but they’re still bantering and maybe playing some video game like mariokart or watching a movie together and just. magnus is leaned all the way into alec, just snuggled up and pressed close against him, alec ends up putting an arm around him, and alec cracks a joke or teases him and magnus sits up a bit to like, poke his chest or flick his nose (you know what i mean? like in an otp person a shifts, still kinda sitting in their lap, and is like [playfully hits shoulder or boops nose or something] and now they’re making eye contact and person b ends up pulling them into a soft kiss???) anyway THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND ALEC PULLS HIM INTO A SOFT KISS and alec almost pulls away when he realizes what he’s done but magnus makes this soft little happy noise and leans into him, kissing back, and they just end up kissing for a bit and when they break apart alec is just looking up at him with breathless wonder and magnus is looking down at him with that same soft reverence and alec blurts out something like “you’re magical” and magnus just loses it and he’s giggling and leaning against alec’s chest and alec starts laughing too and magnus can feel the vibrations in his chest and it’s just so nice and pleasant and wonderful and they may or may not end up making out 

they have to talk about it in the morning when they end up falling asleep together in magnus’s bed, cuddled close, but they find, to both of their delights, they both want to date and be in a serious relationship and it’s so fucking good ok 

they go to dinner and the transition from friendship to romance is a little awkward but so worth it, especially when they realize HEY IT’S BOTH YOU DONT STOP BEING FRIENDS WHEN YOU DATE. i mean like, they didn’t not know that, but it’s like, idk how to explain you know they’re kinda like “are we doing this right” and then they’re like “fuck doing it right we can keep cuddling on the couch and giggling and bantering over stupid shit and watching dumb movies and kicking each others asses in video games it doesn’t matter we just also kiss and have dinner more often and sleep together and also we may or may not be in love” 

also they’re That Couple. they’re like straight to the honeymoon, they’re domestic from the first week. magnus is casually doing magic around the house (imagine: he just dyes his hair on a whim and grows it out a little bit and alec is like “i love u no matter how u style ur hair and stuff, and like, ur usual look is so fuckin cute and handsome, but also I Love This.”) but like he’s like (casually summons small ball of light to read book at night) (casually makes alec little protective charms–side note alec def makes him some of these too, but he asks magnus’s old mentor, ragnor, and two of his friends that can do magic, catarina and dot, to enchant it, since he can’t himself, and having magic woven by people who care about him will make it stronger. oh mhyhogfd) and just like. magic used to be something he mostly kept to himself (this def has something to do with his parents–his mom, who he thinks killed herself because of his eyes/magic, his birth dad who’s a powerful sorcerer–level 9, actually, and they think magnus is level 8 for a long time–who was an abusive fuckstick) and then he started doing youtube and it was a kinda show, a gift, something to share, but still not really something he just used openly in front of people he cared about (other than his close friends, since most of them do magic too anyway) but with alec it’s so easy to do that casually?? it’s so easy to just feel comfortable and safe????? yes

anyway they do eventually “come out” as boyfriends, maybe something short and sweet like just. a tweet of magnus sleeping curled up on alec’s chest and he’s like “god i love my boyfriend

they were already not subtle but now that they’re not hiding it they’re so fucking blatantly in love tbh. they do one of those boyfriend tag videos and it’s fucking adorable, at high request they do some couples games kind of videos, like the newlywed game and fuck marry kill (mostly on alec’s channel but magnus has a few, too) and it’s just HIGH QUALITY FUCKING CONTENT

also originally i was just thinking something along the lines of “in canon verse, twi alec is instagram famous/famous on social media and he gets cute tarot boyfriend and is like look at my cute boyfriend and then magnus’s small insta account mostly for his business gets a fuck ton of new followers and alec’s gets a considerable amount too” and now i’m imagining everyone from their respective audiences first thirst-following the other, then actually getting invested 

but really tho they’re the internet’s hottest couple for a while it’s great

for some reason i’m picturing them doing a live tour now, with like, accessible tickets and magnus does magic live on stage and idek what else they’d do tbh but it’d be fun as fuck

anyway this au got away from me

me: i dont have any real coherent ideas

also me: [vomits a 2,500+ word ESSAY] 

[starlitq]

hello peaches ! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ this is tia and i’m bringing my baby celeste, a sleepy museum guide who is too passionate about stargazing & constellations. while i’m still crying over not being able to buy new horizons because i’m too broke to buy a nintendo switch, i’ll trying to keep this short. but watch me fail, because very much like resetti , i don’t know how to stop talking. ( i cheated and didn’t put her personality here but on her about page, so it this post will look shorter- )

if you are interested in plotting please LIKE this post and i’ll run to your IMs and beg for plots (ΦωΦ) . also, please never hesitate to shoot me a message to plot because i’d love to write with all of you ! ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ

✿ kim jisoo, cis female, she/her ✿ welcome to lunova CELESTE CHO, your happy little town awaits. you’ve been in town TWO YEARS? wow going taking a chance on a new town at TWENTY FOUR ? I heard you were going to try to be a GUIDE at THE MUSEUM. good for you, I’m sure being SYMPATHETIC & SELF RELIANT will help. careful you’re not to DEFENSIVE & MELANCHOLIC. good luck! 

✿ like many others, celeste haven’t always dreamed of becoming what she’d be today. however, since she was a child she loved gazing at the stars and sky, imagining what it would be like to be up there. 

✿ celeste had always been a curious and  social child. she loved to make friends and it seemed like people also liked to talk to her. her life was pretty uneventful to this point, if not it could’ve been described as perfect. while things definetely didn’t come easy to her, she worked hard enough for it so she’d eventually get to them.

✿ one of these things were her dreaming of becoming a pilot. for her it was the only way to satisfy to her desire to travel the world as well as to be as close to the sky as possible. 

✿ of course she knew it wouldn’t be easy and money was certainly needed to invest in her dream. she tried to save up a small amount and with her mother being supportive of her daughter’s dream she tried to help her daughter as much as possible, not only financially but also mentally. 

✿ celeste did feel bad about her mother spending all her money on her daughter’s training. thus, she worked even harder so she could repay her mother.

✿ yet, hard work would never make up for the thing that would twist her plans in such unexpected ways. something celeste had never dreamed of happening. her mother had been diagnosed with alzheimer and as time passed it got to the point where her mothr could barely do anything on her own. 

✿ it was not only the money that she needed for her care but time, time celeste didn’t have with her being so busy to achieve her dream. yet, she couldn’t bear to leave her mother alone and she quit her training to take care of her mother. 

✿ as their financial situation didn’t become better, they also moved to a smaller place located in lunova. there she also picked up her job as a guide in the museum. it wasn’t the worst situation for her. it was another way to be close to the sky.

wanted connections:

✿  best friends: y/m and celeste might have known each other since childhood or they just recently met and instantly felt the connection. despite of celeste, keeping most things to herself, y/m is someone she trusts and even shares her struggles with. to make it short, i just want a wholesome friendship with wholesome and cute moments, like random camping trips, stupid fights or sharing their struggles and ending up crying RIP

✿ star gazing buddies: your muse might be a frequent visitor at the museum and met celeste there. maybe they’ve always been interested in star gazing, constellations etc. or they just like talking to celeste and decided to visit her more often or after her work so they can go star gazing together.

✿ unwanted help: maybe this person always sees her dozing off and is worried about her. they might or might know about her mother’s situation and feel bad for her or they just think she might suffer some illness that might cause her to feel weak and therefore she dozes off. however, everytime they try to help celeste refuses their help. at first, celeste is polite btu after some time she is getting annoyed and might even snap at y/m. y/m is wondering why she’s only mean to y/m when she’s actually known to be a really nice person. maybe, they’ll become friends later or their relationship only becomes worse.

✿ exes : celeste and y/m were in a happy relationship. but when her mother was diagnosed their relationship slowly deteriorated, where she was suddenly becoming more irriated or would always cancel their dates. to make the matter worst, celeste never told your muse about her mother and why she was acting that way. as that wasn’t bad as it is, celeste also didn’t tell y/m she would move to another place and just disappeared with a) only breaking up with y/m via text b) just ghosted on your muse c) anything else we can plot.  

 ✿ unrequited love (doesn't matter if it’s your muse or celeste bcs i just love one sided love PLOTS and suffering :’) ):  IT CAN BE ANYTHING, maybe y/m has a one sided love on celeste and everytime they confess to her she just tries come up with a bad excuse bcs she doesn’t want to hurt y/m. or maybe they’ve been friends for a while and celeste just doesn’t want to risk their friendship because it’s one of the few stable things in her life. or celeste could have a crush on y/m but doesn’t tell them but it’s very obvious. 

✿ pen pals/online friends: maybe both of them have known each other for a long time but have never seen each other. it’s this weird relationship, where both of them know each other’s secrets because they felt comfortable sharing it only via text. yet, they’d feel awkward if they said these thigns to each other irl. BONUS point: one of them knows how the other looks like and they see the other in lunova but are too scared to talk to the other.

✿ ANYTHING, enemies, bickering friends, sibling type relationship, exes on bad/good terms, bad influence, good influence etc. 

i’m brain dead right now, so i can’t come up with more atm. BUT if you have other plots pls don’t hesitate to tell me because i’m absolutely open for everything sjndmds

[raendown]

Tag Game

was tagged by @kunoichi-ume and a couple others but the emails got eaten and I can’t remember THIS PLEBEIAN IS SORRY

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people THE LAST 1. drink: Grapefruit wine. Mmmm. 2. phone call: My man <3 3. text message: My tenant, to let him know I signed for a package for him. 4. song you listened to: Fetish – Selena Gomez 5. time you cried: Bout a week ago? Had a nice big fight. 6. dated someone twice: Yup. Stupid me. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yup. 8. been cheated on: Yes 9. lost someone special: Too many.  10. been depressed: Yes  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Ah my younger days. XD 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. Emerald green 13. Cobalt blue 14. Ruby red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: yes!  16. fallen out of love: No 17. laughed until you cried: Yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: Unfortunately 19. met someone who changed you: Yes 20. found out who your friends are: Not really 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Yup! My man! GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Should be all of them. I don’t really go on Facebook much and I don’t accept invites from people I don’t know. 23. do you have any pets: My kitty cat, Captain Pancake. 24. do you want to change your name: When I get married I will likely change it 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Dick all. We have cake and dinner at home. 26. what time did you wake up: 5:15am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to go back to sleep 28. name something you can’t wait for: My next day off D: 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: A few days ago I drove out to her place What happened to number 30? 31. what are you listening to right now: My cat begging for dinner 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: That’s my father’s name so…frequently XD 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my muse seems to have abandoned me these last few days and I’m getting very little writing done >.< 34. most visited website: tumblr, gmail, AO3, youtube 35. hair colour: Brown 36. long or short hair: Getting longer 37. do you have a crush on someone: Myself. I’m pretty fucking awesome. u.u 38. what do you like about yourself: My creativity and predilection for fun 39. want any piercings: Always wanted my bellybutton done but I’m allergic to impure metals so… 40. blood type: I have…no idea 41. nickname: RaeRae, Lady Mae, Rae of Sunshine, Sunrae 42. relationship status: Married to so many wonderful beauties on tumblr <3 and “he’s gotta take the ring off her finger before he can put it on mine” irl. 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: She, her 45. favourite tv show: MASH, Friends, Naruto Shippuden, Avatar the Last Airbender, Supernatural, among others 46. tattoos:

On my right hip

Over my ribs on my left side

 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Two counts of oral surgery and nothing else  49. piercing: ears 50. sport: The only exercise I get is walking to the car 51. vacation: That I’ve taken? I’ve been all over Canada except the territories, Florida twice, England, Haiti and Jamaica. 52. pair of trainers: I have like four pairs of trainers but I generally where the black pair for work and the Asics otherwise. MORE GENERAL 53. eating: Air 54. drinking: Still more grapefruit wine 55. im about to: Continue writing the next soulmate chapter 56. waiting for: Bedtime oh sweet baby jesus take me 57. want: to be healthy but like also chocolate. <- @kunoichi-ume SAME HONEY 58. get married: Some day 59. career: I will be a small business owner in two years, when I will purchase a Canada Bread franchise. 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs usually  61. lips or eyes: I love eyes 62. shorter or taller: I like taller 63. older or younger: Don’t really care 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. Love me some nice arms.   65. hook up or relationship: Relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant means we stay out of trouble more and being lazy I prefer to stay out of trouble. HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: Yes 68. drank hard liquor: Yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: All the time *fumes* 70. turned someone down: Yes 71. sex on the first date: *wonders* Did that count as a date? 72. broken someone’s heart: Unfortunately.   73. had your heart broken: Yes 74. been arrested: No 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: I believe I will have another drink, does that count? 78. miracles: One can only hope. 79. love at first sight: No 80. santa claus: No 81. kiss on the first date: Yes 82. angels: I want to but… OTHER 83. current best friends’ names: Samara 84. eye colour: Green/Hazel  85. favorite movie: I can’t choose one >.<

I am actually too tired to tag. Please everyone do it. I love learning about you all. ^^

[sleepykichii]

11 Questions Tag

i was tagged by @pinkheichou @tiny-heichou and @salbelni so that's uh...that's 33 questions holy shit this is gonna be forever long lmaoo

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

idk if it’ll tag you guys if i put them under the cut so! i tag: @tokyo-ghouls-eat-rawmen @kingtatsunari @bertoltssweat @sluttttysurveycorps @piningmarco @lesliebruhleria @iviarka @softymir @dallyingdivergent @levi-nyanchou @noodlesforlyfe  don’t feel obligated to do this!! 

1. Is there a book/movie that you’ve read/watched many times? Which one? i usually dont like rewatching/rereading things but my guilty pleasure is snk, i love to watch the dubbed episodes and compare it to the subbed episodes, i love going back and noticing details i couldnt bc i was reading subtitles, comparing manga panels to anime scenes, yknow, lil things like that 2. What do you love most about your friends? they try their best to cheer me up when they know i'm feeling down~ 3. Ever been a witness to someone doing something hella embarrassing? (You don’t have to tell anything about it) uh yeah, my best friend irl fell and literally slid down her stairs when she was drunk after prom last year and wanted to do it again 4. A fandom you didn’t think you would ever be a part of? tbh danganronpa. on my old blog, before i got back into watching anime, i thought their hair was rly...unique, to say the least, and didn't think i would ever give it the time of day 5. Do you have a “trash character” you like? komaeda :') and ouma, i know a lot of ppl rly don't like him lmao 6. Pastel or Black? black, i love pastels but i look rly good in black lmao 7. Pet peeves? when ppl ignore/interrupt me, unneccesary loud noises, lack of privacy, AND WHEN PPL CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN OH MY GOD 8. If you had one free wish what would it be? (Wishing for xx/endless wishes is not allowed) i would wish to bring immense joy to myself and every person i crossed paths with! 9. What are your favourite tropes/AUs for your ships? holy SHIT im a slut for AUs. i lovelovelove actor AUs, zombie/post apocalyptic AUs, high school/boarding school AUs, college AUs, summercamp AUs, band AUs, coffee shop AUs, apartment AUs...i could rly go on but i'll stop lmaooo 10. Are you an emotional person? VERY 11. Are you more attracted to popular ships or rare pairs? i dont rly have a preference, if i see a ship i like, it's popularity doesn't concern me c:

1. Whats your favorite book? i rly don't know, i haven't read a book in forever fml i've already read all the books on my shelf and they're like...8th grade reading level :-// my most recent read was more than this by patrick ness and it was pretty good! 2. Do you collect anything? stickers!! i love stickers so much lmao what else...cute pins, and i'm slowly building a collection i call 'roadside paintings' where -- you guessed it -- i pick up deserted paintings on the side on the road. i currently have two hanging up in my room! 3. The last Song you listened to? sir sly - high 4. Do you like Tea? If yes whats your favorite kind of tea? fuck yeah!! tea > coffee, all day every day. i rly love blueberry acai green tea and papaya passionfruit black tea!! 5. Whats the first Anime/Manga you ever watched/read? if u wanna get technical, sailor moon was the first ever, but naruto is the first one i went out of my way to watch. the first manga was shugo chara! i would probably still read it bc the characters are adorable and the plot is interesting! 6. Whats your favorite childhood movie? pokemon 2000!! 7. Your favorite poem? the universe took its time on you crafted you precisely so you could offer the world something distinct from everyone else so when you doubt how you were created you doubt an energy greater than us both -rupi kaur 8. Your favorite Painting? i don't rly have one!! 9. Whats the most amazing thing that happened to you? still somehow being alive right this very second 10. Whats the Title of the last Fanfiction you have read? i wanna say it was something simple like 'roommates' or along those lines, i honestly haven't read fanfiction in a couple weeks;; 11. Write 3 Book, Fanfic and Manga Title that you totally recommend! i have the comprehension skills of a potato so idk if you mean three of each or three total so i'm just gonna do three total book: more than this - patrick ness (rly good, rly weird. makes you think about our reality a little more. worth a reread when you're finished so you can piece all the information together) fanfic: blue bear - afishoutofwater (snk/eremin - i was in tears by the end of this, it's so sad but very well written. major character death & angst, just a heads up!) manga: killing stalking (hoo boy. this isnt for the faint of heart, lots of dark themes along the lines of torture and murder. not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay!! <3)

① What are you most proud of? this is probably stupid to be proud of but it's the first thing that came to mind even though i wasnt that good, i made it into my eighth grade talent show playing the keyboard i got up there in front of the entire middle school and fucked up tremendously BUT I DIDNT CHICKEN OUT! so!! +1 point for tay woohoo ② Have you ever been so impressed you were left speechless? if you mean impressed by someone's level of stupidity, yeah lmaooo, otherwise not rly ③ What’s your favorite time of day? 10AM - 2-3PM, i'm the only one awake during these hours (unless my mom has work) and the house is completely silent for once ④ Is there a certain song that gives you goosebumps everytime you hear it? history maker from yoi gave me goosebumps for a while but no song has consistently given me goosebumps lmao ⑤ Is there something, let it be a hobby/food/movie/book/song/etc., from your childhood that you still love today? i still collect stickers and i still rly love beanie babies...i also don't mind watching the berenstein bears/dragon tales with my niece bc those were my faves when i was a kid ⑥ What never fails to make you happy? my morning solitude and fluffy art/fanfics of my otps!! ⑦ Do you dream? If so, which one was most memorable? i dream sometimes, but my fave reccurring dream is where everything is neon, like the saturation has been yanked up 100%, and i'm just walking down a sidewalk minding my own business, and then it starts raining acid and everything starts melting away until i'm just kinda floating in the void lmao i usually wake up right after everything disappears ⑧ Who’s your favorite tumblr artist/writer/editor/etc.? Feel free to name/tag more than one! the first one that came to mind was @glassesgirl0401, rarepair mom for life ; v ; ⑨ What’s your favorite fanart? Could you please link to its source? omg i love every piece of fanart tht i reblog i cant pick just one!! i rly love how everyone has their own art style and ways of drawing certain things differently, the individuality is what makes art so amazing! ⑩ What’s your headcanoned sexuality/gender identity/romantic orientation of your favorite SNK character? omg there's so many tht i like aaaaa if i had to pick just one, it would be armin and he's hella gay :3 ⑪ ^May I draw them with their pride flag’s colors for you? AAAAAA PLEASE?? that would be so great?! thank you!!! <3

here are my questions, i tried to make them interesting! 1.) If you had one, what was your 'stereotype' in school? (jock, nerd, goth, etc) 2.) What are your favorite and least favorite foods? 3.) Who is your favorite character from your current fandom and why? 4.) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 5.) What are your favorite hobbies? 6.) Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? 7.) What's one obstacle you've overcome recently? 8.) Yes or no: Pineapple on pizza? Fries dipped in mayonnaise? Ketchup on eggs? 9.) What is your most resourceful skill? 10.) If you could pick three fictional characters to bring to life, who would they be and why? 11.) What is the end-goal for you; What do you want to do with your life?

thanks for reading this far lmao sorry that took a lot longer than i thought it would

[snickiebear]

OHMYGOD SNICKIE I—

so i just finished going through your index and OH MY GOD??? i wish i’d done that earlier *facepalms*

thanks for the tip, i kinda see now who the shadows were referring to… 😉😉😉 (but not all because im slightly stupid)

BUT ALSO akdjbshdj im so glad ur open to the prequel idea and if it does happen i’ll be in the front row seat with hearts in my eyes 😍 what’s even crazier was that i was reading the war chapter in the index and i had to take maybe seven pauses because my imagination was considering the many possibilities!!! and i know i said prequel but oh my god this whole world you’ve built can be like whole series on its own — and im not yet even thinking about what’s going to happen post-OL&W!!! it’s just me thinking about the characters’ stories during the violent era, the first guild war, and the second guild war!!! i-

i seriously can’t even—

i’m gonna try to articulate my thoughts but if you can imagine smoke bombs exploding into vague plot lines, that’s what’s happening in my head right now so apologies in advance for the mess (also im going backwards lol):

Second guild war — hypothetically,,,, if there were an itasakushi era sometime in the history of men falling on their feet for sakura, i believe the itasakushi would have developed in the course of this war, although they may have been acquainted with each other earlier. common enemy: danzo, and what better way to wreak havoc and violence than to have him die by the hands of this (im calling it) legendary trio (but that’s also because im quite invested in them). the five-year captivity is also a huge plus because i imagine shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes

quick question (if it’s not a spoiler) - which naruto characters would fall under thundersins? ibiki is the guildmaster, so does that mean his guild is composed of t&i people? im not quite sure who (in the naruto-verse) can get fooled by danzo into waging this war…

First guild war — can u tell us who was the mage who killed a witch? who was the witch? what were they fighting about??? was it a serious badass battle? were they secretly friends?? lovers??? did danzo have anything to do with this??? or maybe hanzo??? HOLY SHIT WOULD THE AME CHARACTERS BE INVOLVED HERE??? AKATSUKI??? but it’s ok if it’s still a secret… we can go detective on this one

speaking of ame and the other nations in the canonverse — will they also be part of this au? i mean we’ve already seen suna folks in OL&W but maybe like chojuro from kiri and other notable characters from the other hidden villages?

And to the violent era — using canonverse as basis, this would most likely be the counterpart of the hashirama-madara founding a village arc and/or the period before that, since they were also just fighting to death and using child soldiers. but actually im more curious about the guild wars than this era unless something dramatic happened lol other than the self-indulging satisfaction of blood thirst 🤣🤣🤣 im just really more invested when sakura is around. i would say tho, the lore is still interesting because im quite curious as to why the beginning is violent? was it because the gods had a fallout and all they really knew was to be violent about it? if it’s something similar, i’m getting a little bit of mythology-percy jackson vibes (which i LOVE) so Y A Y

ok so that’s basically me vomitting my smoke bomb thoughts *deep breaths* P H E W thank you AGAIN for the brain workout 🥰 it feels nice to lose myself in this world hahaha! you don’t really have to answer my questions; i literally just typed what’s on my mind 😂 INDEX WAS AWESOME! it’s like super clues to the mystery that lead to MORE mystery so yeahp you have just seen the effects on my mind

so sorry to hear about how your day was faring! i’m grateful my ask came to you at the right time. 🥰 i was actually worried about not sliding in your inbox earlier because i already saw that there was a new chapter but it was only then that i had time to check it out. i’m glad i was able to uplift your spirits even just for a little while 💕💕💕

i hope you have a better rest of the week ahead! ❤️❤️❤️

P.S. i cant believe u think my joke was top tier, im seriously bad at cracking jokes irl so thank you for believing in my limited-to-no-successful-experience in joke making

🐱

🐱🐱🐱🐱!!!!!!

LMFAOOOO don’t worry if you don’t figure it out now :) it’ll all be revealed in due time!! Honestly?? Since you brought up the prequel thing i have been thinking not-fucking-stop about how else the world coud be explored. Like?? There is SO MUCH GOING ON!!!

we have the whole Inuzuka tribe, the different temples, so many different characters... there is so many rocks to turn over!!!

OKAY SECOND GUILD WAR ITASAKUSHI YES. we are on the same wavelength 🐱, bc i was thinking the same thing. They would probably meet during GW2 and hit it off pretty well. 1) because Shisui is one charming motherfucker, and 2) Itachi would def draw Sakura in with his smooth humor. Plus, as reclusive as Sakura is in this, she does enjoy being friends with them.

“shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes” this imagery fucking killed me. Oh my god. THATS SO FUNNY WTF

(okay so in the OG draft of OM&G it starts with saku not knowing any of the boys and meeting them for the first time. she knew sakumo [who was dead in this one] and itachi + shisui [they were close friends].

and sasuke was being a total asshole [as usual] and sakura shuts him up with telling him that she's slept with both itachi and shisui. and then all three of them together. to which sasuke has an ANEURYSM LMFAO

but in this one, ItaSakuShi DEF goes on missions together after GW2 and totally fuck and get drunk and hang out. its verified, it has happened, i am comfirming this.)

Ok so!!!! Thundersins would consist mainly of non clan people in Nart. So, Lee, Tenten, Gai, Anko, Genma, ect. Though, we won’t be seeing Gai, Genma, or Anko until much, much later :) Though, Shisui is a part of the Thundersins guild, because he’s just more suited for assassinations rather than wizarding.

so basically, i'm just kind of putting people wherever i think they'd be suited best!

Danzo himself is a tricky bastard and at the time of GW2, Thundersins is still a relatively “new” guild, and they’re mainly human at this point, meaning that they were the weakest guild. It mostly comes down to the fact that Danzo, the manipulative asshole, was able to get their aid. He kept the entire kidnapping a secret for years (i’m estimating at least fifty or so) because the war and then it came to light by some spies or sum

As for the first guild war LMFAO i have absolutely no idea at all which mage killed what witch, i didn’t really think about it tbh! Maybe it was one of sakura’s bullies,,, LMAO honestly? I’ll leave all of that lore to you!!! I like keeping some details vague just so readers can take it and RUN AHAHAHHA. So yeah! Maybe they were lovers! And the entire killing was an accident! Who knows!

OKAY SO! This is going to make sound TERRIBLE. But i hadn’t even thought of Mist or Ame or any of the other villages until you said something LMAOOO

Well… the akatsuki plays a HUGE role in the next two fics,, so i can’t really say much about them hehe…

I do love chojuro and mei and haku and just LKSMDANFKSLD yeah. Going to be honest: they totally slipped my mind which is awful. Head in hands frfr. But i can tell you this:

Mei would be a mage, Chojuro would be either an assassin or a mage… one of the two… haku and zabuza are assassins. Ao would probably be a wizard too.

As for the other Jinchūrikis,,,, you’ll have to wait for the next two (if i have...write them… haha..)!

THE VIOLENT ERA! And yes! So, this is basically the time where the Living are the most… animalistic? Especially since the gods’ “fallout” as you call it! Thepheria served as a balance to both Peace and War, she is Balance in the very sense of the word so… if something happens to her, the entire world goes into cause and it can take a long time for it to find equilibrium!

Nothing huge happened here, this was like the “stone age” of this world and very self indulgent with the whole savagery of it, but also highlighting that deep, deep down these Living (and humans) are angry and violent at their cores. Its their roots and no matter how they progress, it will always come back to war and bloodshed.

AND OMG!! A FELLOW CAMP HALF BLOOD CAMPER HELLO!!!! I love pjo so much!!!! My first series that got me loving fiction and the worlds we can build!!!

I’m so glad you liked the index!!! Its both for you and me because half the time i can’t keep track of what information i want to use/verified so… it keeps me consistent (because i am horrible at it LMAO)

Please don’t ever worry about sliding in here “late”!!! Life is busy and the chapters are a little long, plus time will always keep marching on (omg that rhymed)! And! Please don’t feel obligated to come scream with me! Just knowing that you’re enjoying my work is enough to fuel me!!! :))))))

I feel you on the jokes 🐱, i am not funny irl at all HAHAAHA but your joke was hilarious, im crackin up just thinking about it LMFAOOO

Have a great week 🐱!!!!!! <33333333

[survivorsweden]

Rites of Passage

Here’s some music for you to listen to as you read: https://youtu.be/o0bND3_QK1

Drew: im only like 80% that’s even a name

Linus: I never spoke to you, I never heard anything about you, who are you!?

Ned: I never got to meet you, but I hope things are going well!

Sarah: Being first boot must have sucked! Sorry we couldnt have met :(

Drew: robbedt

Linus: rip, I actually really liked Karen and it was cool to see there was actually someone else from Winnipeg who plays these games (throwback to day 1 when I got like 5 messages asking if I knew her irl).

Ned: Karen! It’s sad that we didn’t get to play together to make up for Wonderland, but it’s always good to see you around.

Sarah: KAREEEN! Second boot? Truly not deserved and I hope we get to play again soon ...ya know when you're not such an early boot ;)

Drew: I can’t believe you flew me to Massachusetts, got me drunk, like seriously drunk, in a basement while Are You The One was playing (¼)

Linus: Stevie's boot was pretty sad because I really did love everyone on starting stolkholme. At the time I was already super tight with Carlos though, so this was the only move that made sense, especially since Stevie flubbed the challenge :( .

Ned: This really sucked- we hated to do this, but you accidentally started the challenge without anyone being ready and it kind of threw everyone for a loop. Playing with you in Werewolf was fun, so I wish we could have been together longer!

Sarah: Hey Stevie! How is your drunk ass?! You made me hate 99 bottles and sorry you did that in the challenge otherwise you wouldnt have gone home djkfhsjdkfl

Drew: on ridiculous rum punches where you don’t understand how much you’re drinking until it’s too late, and chased with tequila straight from the bottle (hashtag tequila toddler), and (2/4) 

Linus: lol at idol was funny af. Still, since we had known each other in Myanmar it was disappointing.

Ned: I didn’t get to play with you, but you have a cool name.

Sarah: STEFFEN! KING. IDOLED OUT! I CANNOT BELIEVE. I wanted to play with you so bad! Lets hope we can someday <3

Drew: FRIEND!!! They did you so dirty, what the fuck, I could not believe it. I mean granted I tried to do you dirty the round before too but I failed so technically I’m better than these assholes.

Linus: Noooooo. Fucking Carlos probably deserved to be here more than anyone. He was a really cool guy and during his time in the game he was easily the person I talked to the most. He was also really hard working in comps trying for hours to get the best score possible. Robbed!

Ned: This was the first difficult thing I had to do in this game. I fought so hard to keep you in- you don’t even know- but in the end, it wasn’t possible without risking my own game. I’m sorry you had to go out this way. I know all you wanted to do is make jury. :(

Sarah: Hey Carlos! Your vote off was one of the hardest decisions I had to do in this game. Ned and I wanted to bring you so far along with us, but you were just someone who had to go to ensure that I stayed and made it far. Youre such a great and genuine guy, and I truly did miss that around the game.

Drew: convinced me to sign up for a season that I had no business being in, with a title I never wanted to defend, just so we could play a game together because it had been so long in most cases, (¾)

Linus: I sadly never really got to meet Nick, sorry :( 

Ned: Continuing our plan to emotionally destroy Sam as much as possible, you ended up being the next casualty. I’m sorry you had to go, but my own game was in jeopardy. We offered to work with you, but you ratted us out, and I guess all I have to say now is what goes around comes around.

Sarah: Hey Nick! I do feel responsible for your vote off, and I'm hella sorry about that. Your vote off was sorta like Carlos's in a way where you needed to go otherwise my butt or Neds would be in the same placement as yours. I hope you're doing good man!

Drew: and then subsequently left premerge and left me here to fend for myself with these freaks. What kind of fake friends, honestly. You are all the worst. I miss you guys, come back soon!!! (4/4)

Linus: Sam was always cool so I was super happy when Drew pulled her in to work together for the Jay vote. I'd only I didn't play the idol on myself :(

Ned: This succcccked. I waited all pre-merge just to be able to work with you, but of course a stupid twist prevented that from happening. I voted to save you in the normal vote and revote, but it turns out you can’t change your revote, so my campaigning was useless. At least we got to work together in Sentinel Islands :)

Sarah: SAAAAAM <3 Queen. If you were not drunk the whole day during tribal council and you asked me for my idol I totally would have given it to you! Your vote off was completely shocking to me and you know I love u :)

“I'd still be here if it wasn't for the "Vote for the other tribe" twist (:”

Drew: “OG Karls, you’re making a huge mistake voting me out. Big mistake” You rite

Linus: I didn't talk to Jay much in this game, but I've since met him and have nothing but respect for him. I was completely inactive in the game I met him in, but like, he was cool enough to be the one person I talked to in it :P

Ned: Not gonna lie, this was the best possible outcome for my game going forward. It sucks to go out like this, but I had a great time playing with you- even if it was terrifying for me at times! You’re really a great player and I’ve enjoyed every game I’ve been in with you.

Sarah: Your vote off was probably one of the saddest. I knew it was happening but I also knew you wanted to win so bad. I really do think you would have made it further if you actually made it to merge. I feel like people underestimated you and people saw jordan pines as the whole operation between the alliance but hey I always thought you were pretty amazing by letting him do all the work while you just sat back. 

“I sadly didn’t win this game, but I am happy to say that I made some new friends during this journey. Besides that crown, isn’t that why we’re all here anyways? Thanks Christine and Connor <3″

Drew:  My child, for a minute I thought you were gonna win with that cross-tribal idol move but it got snatched. First victim of the snow idol. Gorlleys for life

Linus: This was easily the hardest vote for me in the entire game. I was aligned with Duncan during the swap and easily the most villainous action I did was voting him out. Still, it was a position I was forced into since I didn't trust really any of his allies. Sorry Dunc :( 

Ned: I loved playing with you! You’re a great guy and I really enjoyed the conversations we had together. It sucks that everything had to end on such a weird note, but I did what I had to to save myself. I hope you’re doing well, and I’d love to keep talking to you after the game ends!

Sarah: Hey Duncan! The cuties did not deserve this at all! I don't know what happened to make you change your mind about me all of sudden but one minute I'm hearing you wanted to work with me, and the next you wanted me out. Yikes. You were one hell of a player and you were super fun to talk to during the game so maybe after this we can still keep talking :)

“It's surprising I'm putting effort into writing this considering half of yall didn't even put effort into playing the game. Y'all voted out the good people..... good job. Linusnake please go away”

Drew: Every time I start a new game and you’re there, I have this moment of panic worrying if I’m going to continue to be the villain in your history books when that was never the goal. I see once again, I did not disappoint.

Linus: Easily the least lucky person in this game. Nic impressed me since he was such a fighter who seemed to get the game stacked against him at every single step of the way, yet he always kept going.

Ned: This was a tragedy. You’re such a nice guy and you kept being friendly up to the last minute. Honestly, I only voted for you for two reasons: 1. Linus was my ally, and 2. You just won Wonderland! That means I personally know how strong of a player you are, and that was pretty dangerous for my game. Great job making it to this point with a recent win under your belt!

Sarah: Nic, your vote off was scary AS HECK. It basically came down to chance. You and I barely talked, which Im super sorry for. Communication is a two way street and I totally should have tried harder. I feel like the reason I didn't was because you and Jordan were tight and I didn't want anything going back to him and making him not trust me. I hope you understand but lets talk after the season because you seem like a stand up guy honestly. 

“Overall I found the lack of respect for the other players and the hosts alike no matter how inadvertant they were to be utterly irreprehensible in this game and I was kind of disgusted by it. I feel like I played really well and I genuinely couldnt have asked for a better alliance than karlskognicshley. I'm glad I got to work w them in this and I really don't give a fuck who wins byyyeee”

Drew: Jesus kid, I love Tyson Apostol too, but damn

Linus: Lol u suck

Ned: Let’s be real for a second- your last tribal was one of the most exciting things to ever happen in an ORG. I’m so sorry you went out with just one vote, but voting for anyone else just would have been too dangerous. It was great working with you while we were both working against each other- it’s such a cool relationship that you don’t get to have with many people. I’m honestly gonna miss talking to you in French!

Sarah: HEY ZAK. My sole vote was the reason you're sitting in jury, and yes...you could be bitter because linus is still here but I just find it utterly hilarious how YOU CANCELLED OUT HIS SELF VOTE. That tribal council made me laugh so much and its always going to remind me of you. Keep on snapping pics of your cat btw because I smile every time OH MAN <3

Drew: To quote legend, queen, my wife, and winner of Survivor Malibu, “I wish to one day punch Jordan Pines in the face.”

Linus: I absolutely loved playing with and having a friendly rivalry with Jordan. He was chaotic, always trying to make a move and just super fun to have on the tribe. Of course, that also made him the biggest threat in the game sadly.

Ned: You were basically the Aubry to my Debbie- you were gunning for me, and if I didn’t take you out first, it would be the end of my game. Maybe in an alternate universe we could be the dynamicest duo, but it just seems destined for us to be rivals. It’s been a pleasure playing with THE Jordan Pines.

Sarah: Pines, your vote off was the worst. I had to make a decision. I did say I was going to vote with you the round of your vote off. I really did mean it. No matter how much you don't believe me. But I ended up choosing loyalty over someone who is better known as a ...shall I say...villain? And I cute one at that. I had so much fun playing sweden and india with you and yes, you come across as someone who is villainous but I see your heart is in everything you do. I respect your game ....a lot. We truly did become friends because of this game and I'm forever grateful. 

Drew: King of snowballs!! I’m highkey as shook as you are that that was real

Linus: Josh posting the apps for this game on facebook is what got me to sign up, and ultimately I ended up forming the biggest counter alliance to him. Kind of ironic. He's a great guy and hopefully one day we wont be against each other in a game since we always seem to be on opposite sides.

Ned: I’m sorry for leaving you out of so many things early on, and that’s probably why you ended up working against the Stockholm 4 during the merge. You’re really funny, and I truly enjoy chatting with you! I just checked Skype and it’s telling me to resend my contact request, so I hope you didn’t block me. :o

Sarah: Cutest. Person. Of. This. Cast. Your vote off was expected. We didnt talk much but I can tell your a stand up guy :~) talk to you..either in jury or ftc! 

Drew: Honestly still a little upset you didn’t have an idol to pull out at the end like BITCHES, it would have made it more interesting and less depressing

Linus: Ash! Another person I was super happy was in this game. In Myanmar we worked both together and against each other at times. Last time I was kind of the shady one, so this time it was kind of cool to see that role reversed of me wanting to be super loyal to the Drew, Ned, Sarah and Ashley group and her being the one to try and change things up and make a move. It sadly just missed the mark with Jordans vote randomizing on Nic, but she was willing to play and I have to respect that. GG!

Ned: Nooooo Ashley! You’re such a good person and voting you out was heartbreaking. You honestly had a very compelling case, and in any other situation, I may have flipped. You’re so kind and the last conversation I had with you was one of my favorites ever just because of how genuine you are! If this were real Survivor, you would win Fan Favorite and people would threaten Jeff Probst because you got voted out. Hopefully we can still talk after this ends!

Sarah: ASHLEY! OK when you left it was truly sad because you self voted. Which broke my heart. Even when you flipped on the alliance we had, you still ended up making f5 which is exactly what we wanted. You're such an amazing person and Im glad we got to connect, here and in india <3

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 4 - “I WANT TO REACH MY GOATENTIAL” - GEO

Welcome to Survivor Divergent, where's it's 14 inactive people and 6 people actually playing

I'm pretty damn busy today grading final assignments, and I'm pretty sure my frustration yesterday was enough to paint a target on me going forward, but I don't much care. This tribe's work ethic is for shit. I don't belong here. I can't just sit back and not do things. Ed can't, either, because it's such a deep-seated belief of mine that it permeates through him too. Not submitting things is just not my speed.

What pisses me off more than anything is that so far, I've been the only one to put in any concrete work. Percy got the theme based on a writing prompt. Payton's been offering suggestions. Dani's offered to do both the poster and the write-up. Meanwhile, I did the poster (deliberately at a level below what I know I can do, because I've been saying all along that I'm not good with Photoshop.) I did the write-up. Last time I felt so alone in one of these creative challenges, my tribe lost and I was the one sent packing at the next tribal council.

It's bullshit. I hate it I hate it I hate it. And while I love the people on this tribe based on our limited interactions, Peter can fuck off back to the inactivity pool from whence he came. Lucy can find a clue while she's busy finding a last name. And Geo... man, Geo is the biggest disappointment of all, only because we've SEEN what he can do. And it's like he's choosing not to do it. I get that we all have lives and that we're all super busy. I'm running myself so ragged that I'm going to hibernate clear through the holidays.

But that's the key difference: you make time if it matters to you. And if this game doesn't matter to anyone else, why should it matter to me? More importantly, if I get to jury, where's my motivation to vote for any of these people who couldn't — or wouldn't — step up when they're needed?

This is frustrating. I miss Megara Tribe. I miss Bondoso Tribe. I even miss Drohend Tribe. I like tribes that work hard, like each other and trust each other as a result. And this tribe fits maybe one of those three criteria. It sucks.

Six: The amount of posts in our tribe chat per day. God damn.

I'm pretty sure the hosts hate six. Like.

On 12/18/16, at 12:09 AM, Payton Rodriguez wrote: > also, y’all are rigging this against the 90% inactive tribe

On 12/18/16, at 12:10 AM, Payton Rodriguez wrote: > its not mine and ed’s fault that the rest of them are flops like if we went offline for three days the world would fall apart and you know it

no, i dont think they're actively rigging. i think my tribemates are sabatoging and we're not gonna have fucking numbers going into merge. sluts.

Okay so it's been a while, let's see if I can catch up. Last time I made a confessional I was stuck on trying to find the Erudite idol. I was so frustrated, and then we lost reward. I didn't want there to be a chance that someone from Six would find the idol, since the clues stack, so I panicked and asked Melissa for help. She figured it out in 2 seconds bc stupid me doesn't know the alphabet or how to count. Ugh. So we work through the next few pages, and then we get stuck again. But after looking at it for a few minutes, I realized I needed to use the keypad on a telephone to get the next word, and I figured it out. To show some good faith, I tell Melissa right away, but the next page.... whew. I looked at that page for a good half hour and couldn't figure it out. Then I'm reading what's on the page and it looks like song lyrics? So I decided to google them. I copy and paste it into google, and i noticed in the search bar are words I did not see before. So I go back to the page and highlight everything. Sneaky Jenna hid the link to the next blog in white lettering on the page. Very clever. So I go to the next blog, and I need another password. Crap. Well, I'm hoping that whoever is looking for this idol on the Six tribe gets stuck at the password too, so they wont be ahead of me. I decide to not tell Melissa that I figured it out. I want to see if she comes to me with that information. And she does, the next day. So I know I can actually trust Melissa. Like, I know I'm in an alliance with her, but I wanted to like, test her trust? I guess? So there's where we are on the idol journey...

I've been talking to Jill bc, you know, former Candor, and she brings up starting an alliance with Kyle. Me, already being in an alliance with Kyle, am completely down for this. Jill's plan is to have a former Candor/Amity alliance with me, Kyle, and Will, and bring in Melissa as a 5th so we have majority. Kyle and I, already being in an alliance with Melissa, are completely down for this. We decide to tell Melissa about this alliance, because we want Ugly Fruti to be our core, our majority within the majority, if that makes sense. Melissa seems fine with it.

So then we wind up winning the Battleship Immunity, and I am really enjoying not going to Tribal. If we can keep it this way until merge, that would be fantastic. Things have been really quiet around the tribe lately. I haven't been on much because of things irl, but I'm going to try and be around more. I dont want to be first boot from this tribe for inactivity, even though there are people who are way less active than me. I'm just hoping our movie poster is enough to win reward so we can continue on that Erudite clue...

Every single day, I feel myself slowly becoming someone that I am not. And honestly, I kind of like that.

I think Payton is pretty set on getting to know who I am but I'll keep bouncing that carrot in front of her face because the longer I keep her focused on my identity over the game that I want to play, the better it is for me in the long run. Payton is a threat because shes so talkative (albeit annoying as hell) and has Percy in her back pocket. She even came to me and said,

[10:14 PM] Payton Rodriguez: So I think I kinda decided Percy would be safe if we went to tribal again, at least from my vote? He really did help with making that poster look good

Of course that's a valid excuse but you should be willing to vote off anyone at any given moment in time. I don't care who we're going after, but I kind of think that Peter does need to go next. He's just going to do whatever people tell him to do later and he contributes almost nothing to my game, except acting like a little pawn for the time being.

I still have my Abnegation idol, so I'm going to hold onto it as long as possible. I think this is an idol I need to use on myself only because if I try to use it to make a huge move, like playing it on the target to get rid of a threat, then it could backfire and if my own target ends up getting saved, I could go out on a revote. If I just had the regular old thing, then I'd be more willing to be #dauntless and whip it out to save someone else and *ciera voice* make big movez.

Also I'm being really patient with myself and trying to make a lot of spelling/grammar errors and ignoring most forms of punctuation. I want to, in addition, have perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation on my regular account so that people are somewhat confused about my identity. I'm still going with my "pretty, spoiled girl" image that I'm adopting so that everyone thinks that I'm two completely different people. Maybe its working, maybe its not. But I need to start cutting the bullshit and start being as realistic as possible. No more talking about the unrealistic life I don't have, but being real. I have to adopt true parts of my own personality so I'm not looking like a bullshit artist. I have that tumblr blog, so maybe i should share it with the people so they choose to follow me and understand that maybe this is something i'm committing to. we'll have to see how that works out for me, of course.

ok i know im not supposed to but i cant help but get uncharted flashbacks rn im sure its not but lake is giving me ari vibes

Gosh it's been a long time since I've made one of these.

Nothing has really happened. We've been winning immunity and I haven't really helped at all.

I've been trying to staybtalkative with the most active members of the tribe and I feel like there's at least 2 or 3 people that could be voted out before me.

I feel so bad cause I havent done one of these in a long time. Im usually good with confessionals <.< sorry hosts.

I feel like im wadting time with the amity idol but oh well ill keep chugging along

Dani scares me. Theyre really smart, they know who i am, and i feel like theyre not playing with abnegation (obviously they werent from thay tribe) and theyre gping to use it against me. I want to get her oyt, but i think shes better connected to people, therefore attempting to do so will get me oyt instead, and i want to play with loyalty, i dont want to ve a flipper again and again. Dani is in an alliance with me so that wont be good as the others may be wary of me.

Im concerned as well as people arent actually talking that much to me. They dont message me, only dani and payton. I love payton or logan if it is them and i believe theyre going to be a bigger target ahwad of me in the future.

I want to play a very goat game. Previously my competitors and friends viewed me as someone who cant win and is very well aligned and a flipper. I havemt made ftc, and thats my goal. I dont care about anything else. If im loyal and very nonthreatening, people will want to take me as they view me as a goat and i could potentially use that strategy to win? I want to reach my goatential, and see whether i can lose at the end or not. Hopefully i dont.

Im typing this on my phone and i didnt put the heading, sorry for all my messiness. #Goatential #Geoat #loyalty #noflippers #mystrategy

I want to conspire to vote Dani out. I think that might be too risky right now but I don't trust her.

I'm glad we won tribal! But I really, REALLY want to send Dani home. Like, yesterday.

I'm tired of people outside the game talking to me about this game. Stop.

Um, it's been a confusing past few days. The biggest things to come out of them:

1. Six won immunity! Woo hoo! Payton was trying to argue that they were throwing it, but I refuse to believe that. We cam together as a tribe and we showed how much more effective we are when we work together, and that's that. So I guess another way of saying it would be, I don't care what they did. I care about what we did. And we crushed it. And frankly, as great as Payton has been for moral support and activity, her frequent willingness to couch thoughts with 'if's and 'but's really rubs me the wrong way. That's not the way winners think.

1a. That said, Payton is still my #1 for now. She's got a tremendous grip on the tribe socially and is realistically one of the shot-callers around here. The longer I can stay under the radar and vote with her, the more likely I can make merge. And then we're golden.

2. Danielle approached me with 'evidence' that Payton took the advantage, but it was very... sketchy. Which is not to say I don't believe it. I had my suspicions. But I wonder if Dani is trying to throw Payton under the bus for something. There seems to be some bad blood there for reasons I can't fathom.

3. Payton approached me with 'evidence' that Danielle or Geo are fabricating receipts, but it was very... sketchy. Which is not to say I don't believe it. It seems like something both would do, based on what little I know of them. But I wonder if Payton is trying to throw Dani under the bus for something. There seems to be some bad blood there for reasons I can't fathom.

3a. Déjà-vu is the sensation of seeing something you feel like you've seen before.

4. This Erudite idol is maddening. 'Center from the start?' What the hell is that??? I've tried everything – the letter a, the titles on each of the blogs, the word 'hosts' which is the 'center' block on the 'start' page, every past clue in every single blog... I know the clue points to a page on one of the blogs I've already visited, as opposed to the latest one. But I'm so stuck and it's so frustrating and I can only hope others are as hopelessly irritated as I am. I need that next clue, and hopefully this time it'll be something new rather than something I'd already been trying. Talk about bad luck.

5. Peter has been very quiet, but at least he showed up for the comp.

6. Lucy has been very quiet, but at least she showed up for the comp.

7. Geo has been very quiet, but at least he showed up for the comp.

3a. Déjà-vu is the sensation of seeing something you feel like you've seen before.

I will make a longer confessional if I survive tribal, which honestly, I think I will. Me, Kyle, and Melissa are in alliances with pretty much everyone on the tribe, so I think we are fine. The vote should be for Amanda, which is a relief for more than one reason. One, she's getting on everyone's nerves, and two, its so weird for people to be talking about Amanda and to remember its not me. There's only room for one Amanda in this game, hun! Ahhh anyway, after this tribal, we are supposed to be on a holiday break for a while, but I have a feeling before that happens, we are gonna be split into 3 tribes of 5. I'm really hoping not, but if so, I have Kyle and/or Melissa with me, or that I end up on a tribe with a Four Tribe majority. Ahh okay, I'm out til later